Posts on Jan 1970

The thing about fairy tales

How’s everyone? I’ll be dropping by at some of your LJ’s to have a look so be on your best behaviour. I’ve got my muses back to I will be trotting LJ on a more regular basis now. Once the muses are fired up I’m more allowed to multi-task.

The only price is a bad case of ADD symptoms. So expect half finished LJ entries…when I rush off mid way to record some new idea I have mid thoughts…


Where was I?


I’ve been nursing an idea of a song about the warpness of Ever after in fairy tales for awhile now, which really started off with a discussion amongst some uni mates about the concept. Apparently, “happily ever afters” are widely believed. We all know that one day, just one day, we are going to find true love and everything will be just peachy…

I find this widespread belief quite disturbing.

True Love
The notion of true love and ever afters always confuses me. My earliest memories of childhood include asking my frustrated parents what really happens after happy after, and after? And after? I really couldn’t understand why happy afters were this vague, until the recent years where it dawned on me that life after marriage was sometimes pretty from afar but in reality far from pretty. “Best left vague”, was the short answer from the most astute of storytellers.

True Love’s Kiss

Then there’s the all powerful True Love’s Kiss

This bit makes me laugh. Because apparently a true love’s kiss has more medicinal and cosmetic value than the best of medical science can achieve,

1) It can bring you out out of a coma (Sleeping Beauty)

sleeping beauty
2) It is an anti-venom (Snow white)

snow white

3) It is plastic surgery (Beauty and the beast, Frog Prince) For those not in the know, a kiss from a beautiful girl can result in a trans species mutation on the part of the male.

frog prince

–Apparently all we need now is a beauty’s kiss and your ugly beastly ways will be gone forever. No wonder the girl population is inclined to go out with what are essentially beastly boys thinking they can change them…ahh…I now understand them human beans

That’s why, I guess I always preferred the story of Bluebeard.

As an afterthought, it is funny how Beauty and the Beast stories never start with the girl being the ugly one and being changed by love. Thing is, even Cinderella had to go through “Extreme makeover” before she could meet her prince. Something to be said really.

And what’s the thing with the ugly girls always being the evil one?

Means of attaining true love

The means of getting true love is almost classic.

–Sexual psychos who run the coma ward, here’s how u can plead your case.

After all, Briar Rose fell asleep, prince comes, see drop dead gorgeous girl “more beautiful than the sun itself” and has his way with her.

Voila! Marriage! YAY! Apparently I am told this is True Love. Although, you must remember what happened to Buck in Kill bill 1 when he tried to play Prince Charming to our recently comatosed heroine…

kill bill

Then there’s Snow white. Again, our prince is passing by. His kiss detoxifies her and she wakes. They are married. The 7 dwarfs who took care of her lose out. (sucker)

The issue with Beauty in fairy tales
A non-committal look into the interweb will produce some article from some random expert that says that fairy tales could be harmful to little girls because of the whole “if you are beautiful, your life will be peachy”. Else…tough.

I guess the impact of fairy tales probably affect prettier beings. They tend to have opportunities to re-enact, or at least try to, be the main characters in a fable. Don’t the tales always start off with girls “more beautiful than the sun itself” and a prince of some equally pretty form waltzing them off to this mysterious land called “Happy ever after”

Of course, trying to re-enact happy afters is a tricky exercise. I mean, exactly what is happy ever after other than a vague impression of dopamine rush and just plain happiness.

There are drugs for that sort of thing. Really. Just, don’t you dare come down from the high. Low ain’t pretty and so waits the coyote ugly.

Quote taken from the film Coyote Ugly: ( In case u wonder)

Girl: What does Coyote Ugly mean?
Lil: Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand, and the person you’re next to is lying on your arm, and they’re so ugly, you’d rather chew off your arm then risk waking ’em? That’s coyote ugly.

Of course, I belong to a sub category who will be spending more time trying to develop a personality of sorts to make up for my external shortcomings.

kill bill

Basically, in fairyland, without beauty, you are fucked. With the exception of “The Ugly Duckling” which is essentially a story about a misfit, who turns out, is handsome after all.

My heart always goes out to the ugly step sisters or the uglier sibling who is always mean. I’ve been the awkward misfit, and can tell you, through experience, that the pretty/ handsome ones have their share of mean-ness, of course, in fable land, the issue is seldom addressed, or rather, does not make it to mainstream consciousness.

I mean, yes I agree and know that beauty is a convenient asset. But I’d like to hear more tales like Shrek where, for once, someone with some personality getting laid without the occurrence of your usual dose of extreme makeovers. The Cheergirl-jock combo is getting a little old for my bitter bones.

Having said all these though, fairy tales are beautiful relics of the past and should be told still, we have Brother’s Grimm and many other storytellers to thank for that.

Only though, when it comes to ever afters, inject a pinch of salt into the very young mind you tell it to. That really, true love and ever afters means finding beauty in the rot and uglies that come with it.

Oh and here’s the draft of lyrics. I’d post a demo, but my midi died. I have to wait till Sofie comes back to bring my midi back to life. My XV2020 (sound module) hates me I know it…


buy a vial of poison dreams that
come in books and come with sleep
tell me tales of sleeping beauty,
you can sleep your way to true love

weave me a lie tell me beauty’s prime,
that kindness comes with a handsome face
so bury me hide me I’m no beauty
no more happy ever afters for me


Once upon a long ago we weaved a lie that made us wary
mother Goose is quite contrary u weave lies that make me old

keep me in line with red riding hood,
tell a tale of the curious one
if we venture if we’re curious
there will be wolves so stay on the path

don’t the smug have all the answers
when they teach u how to fear
stay in line and don’t ask questions
big bad wolves grin ear to ear


Marry a beast you can change his ways
All he needs is a true love’s kiss
Take the blows and take the uglies
He will come round, love will change him

remember bluebeard better be docile,
don’t let his keys drive u wild
do as he says or he’ll break your soul,
u’ll be left all dangled and cold


Take away my red dancing shoes,
stop my dance please break my legs
Keep your quiet red is bad
so drop your soul be like the rest

–Chorus 2– Once upon a long ago we weaved a lie that made us wary
brothers grimm are quite contrary they weave lies that make me old

didn’t they start as old wives tales
that mothers tell to give girls strength
did we just now, change the ending
is this our ever after?

–Chorus 2–
{bridge.. }


Just for your interest.

Full list of varied Red Riding Hood versions here. Worth a read.

– In some versions, she climbs into bed naked, with the wolf. He traps her and eats her up. Sometimes she escapes, and ends up outwitting the wolf in a “I need to go big” trick.

In others, she is eaten up and then rescued by the passing hunter.

In some versions, Red is duped into eating her Grandmother and is afterwards devoured by the wolf.

Full List of Beauty and The Beast versions Here

Liner Notes For album

Also, while we are at it, I have more liner notes that were meant for the album finally up. When I have time I shall dress it up in a pretty picture so you can print off and add to the Album you bought. They were really meant to me part of the album, but heh, I ran out of cash.

I’m starting radio promos in Australia. I know most of you are overseas but it would really make my day if you could click this link and let this HUGE station in Australia know that you would like Lenore’s Song played.

Helps me heaps with my plans to tour.


You can still buy the album from Earshot Music (Australia) and CDBABY. (US) The special red packaging is still available. Tell your friends. Bug your neighbours.


Planning a gig in Melbourne. I’ll fill you in with details soon.

Press this button?

I’ve started hitting radio land. DIY style.

The first attempt was via mail. The postal service screwed that up by eating the package. So, wearing my undefeatable aluminium hat of intense paranoia, I walked into the station to hand deliver it into ABC studios, Sydney Australia.

The homeland of triple J. The very gods of the radio station who unearthed the monster u see today. For those not in australia, “unearthed” is like the underground equivalent of IDOL.

The only difference is that it is Cooler and has more cred. (so I said :P)

Now minions, you must hit this link obsessively compulsively and request Lenore’s Song obsessively compulsively.

They have the entire album, I saw them make off with it. Hit here Pretty please? Maybe with some airplay I can scam some gigs starting with Sydney and work my way to Melbourne and beyond Australian shore. Meanwhile minions, u need to help me by clicking this link and requesting Lenore’ s song.

clickey this link?

Your humble spiderliness will be back shortly. the good news is that I’ve started writing again! I found my muses. thanks for all the well wishes on how to find the muses/ cure hiccups…back in LJ land shortly.

–Album Spiked Soul now available on CDBABY and Earshot Music (Australia)
Includes DVD, freebies and more (while stocks last)
Myspace page

I promise I won’t be long

long absence. much apologies. how is everyone?

I have been writing. I’m using another strange part of my brain where I talk to midgets and goblins. Mostly goblins.

My writing has changed. I don’t know if it’s an upcoming writer’s block but I can hear harpies in my mind. Somehow my mind has sprung cancerous harpies enmasse where everything my muses or I create has been torn apart. I don’t know what this means yet. But I’m just going to write and still write until the harpies die or I impress them so much they disapear into a puff of explosive pus pimple that they are supposed to be.

The other cause of distraction is of course my determination to get some production ideas down myself. Which means becoming a tech monkey of sorts…my producer Sofie Loizou has removed all excuses not to become a tech monkey by setting up my studio.

I have run out of excuses not to face the tech demons. I’m facing it.

and then I’m facing it.

It’s a tough monkey. I’ve learnt the importance of chronic work saving. Only because my musical universe/files/programs/midi interface keeps crashing.

I need RAM.

More news in 2 seconds. Meanwhile, you much forgive the sudden drop in blog frequencies. I am determined to get into that writing zone of no return…

take care of my universe while I’m gone?
I promise I won’t be long. Don’t break anything while I’m gone ok?

thank u and the art of paid pimping

First, a short thank you. 1) for buying the album 2) For spreading it. The spider queen has managed to cover rent this month which is some pretty unusual news :P.

Meanwhile keep spreading and sending your friends over. I’ve arranged discount deals with Earshot music. If you buy more than 1 copy, you get Aus$5 off each CD. So hypnotise your friends into some bulk buying with you. It’s an unusually bonding activity.

Else there’s always CDBABY

Also, instructions on how you can make money pimping me here

Hey some side money for the blog’s always good right 🙂

Now, equally importantly, I’m curious to know what happened to the Tattoos and Stickers I gave you? Ok , We know what Youri Zoutman did. but I was also hoping to be sent pictures of tattoos/ stickers being stuck on butts, armpits and boobs.

You know, some visual entertainment. So I can put it up on my site and by my bedside table with other collectibles — and feel a whole lot better about the world and myself.

As opposed to baby butt kissing. which is publicity reserved for politicians…

–Album Spiked Soul now available on CDBABY and Earshot Music (Australia)
Includes DVD, freebies and more (while stocks last)

The Edgar allan Poe Remix

As drjon might be quick to point out. Mr Edgar is not always a dark man.

So Quote the server 404

I <3 the cyberverse

Can you spell Freedom?

After 108 hours and a freudian analysis later, I found my housekeys. Can u spell freedom?


after a spring clean and near mad levels of ransacking. I find my keys here


yes…inside that roll of tape. No. no recollection of doing that. and my keys had this to say.


ok. take comic life away from me now

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