I, fridge mold, will speak now.

Hi all,

Her Royal Madness is demanding that I get off her chair and her mac and is screaming about me leaving spores all over her keyboards. Says she wants to do some blog about Song Summit and that I’m interrupting her neurons and what not.

I don’t have much time before she thinks to bring out her vacuum cleaner so here it is. There are some things I need to get off my chest.

I believe her Royal Madness calls you her minions. I find this very strange because her Royal Madness is really her Royal Squeamish and she screams alot…says “No!!! NOOOOO!!” ¬†alot, then hyperventilates alot at me. So I can never understand why someone like her gets to have minions while I get to be mocked by you lot.

Allow me to introduce myself. I began life as what human beings call a Tofu, a harmless piece of beancurd that got left over as a midnight snack because her Royal Madness decided that it would be a good idea to eat that Tofu with Lemon and Bonito Flakes.

She probably decided that the tofu must taste pretty bad and she was going to recycle it for her next meal or something and anyways, the tofu got forgotten and get piled on behind a can of corn beef and some celery while she went and did alot of this thing called music.

Then…at first there was nothing…nothing but tofu. Then there was enzymes, which exploded into fur, which ate the celeries, which gave it eyeballs then…


So her royal madness zapps me to life (Devina it’s your fault and I’m onto you) and I call her “ma” which I thought was rather deserving. She, like all dysfunctional mothers, proceeds to put me up for adoption and when she fails proceeds to send me to some art exhibition at the request of one

Dom McEiben. – (You’re on my list too buster!!)

Somewhere along the way one Indie T.Peh wants to make me a musician (EUGH!!) and her Royal Madness wants me to wear black and be ninja. I hate black! It goes really bad with my luxurious green hair.

Then Karl Goodloe suggests that I be LICKED and Devina Jimenez volunteers me to be EATEN?!! How rude are you lot?

I’m on to you lot you hear me?! All of you! Do not mock my existence.

Only Jerrod seems rather nice because he said to give me a name, which I rather like the idea of. So..minions?! or whatever you are I demand you give me a name and I demand it now.

Or I shall be creating more parallel universes and dump each of you lot in it seperately. I hear it’s scary…this parallel universe thing.

Very very scary.

So there. Gimme name or I shit parallel universes at you lot.

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