Old Album Diaries

For those whose muses need the naughty chair..

Before there was order. Then the muses said “Let there be NOISE”
order

And the above where I spent the initial weeks/ months (post Spiked Soul) going into a very bad sort of a bitey, rabidey human bean. All this for trying to write new material.

riots

There’s something very difficult about being creative all of a sudden. So if there was some sort of metaphysical hospital for suddenly non functioning creators, my patient file would probably look like this.

Patient Name: Yunyu
Symptoms: Patient exhibits bouts of rage, complains of sudden inability to write, bouts of random nausea, talking to self, telling thin air to shut up, short spurts of head banging on the nearest hard object, repeat random violence sequence, has zombie delusions, was caught trying to chew through the scalp of a fellow artist
Diagnosis: Muse Riot-itis

My first album was mostly written in Perth, which for some reason always makes the muses happy. For the most part, I think it is well and truly because my muses are secretly beach bums that were too lazy to even join the reincarnation queue (which is why they don’t have a body and feed off me instead.) …if you believe in that sort of thing. Then said, Perth IS a beautiful place and if ever there was a portal for the birth of good music, Perth definitely had one.

I’m not sure if it’s the epileptic seizure inducing city lights, or the fact that there’s simply too much entertainment (whether u want to or not) in the city, or the fact that I am just a cranky cranky crankpot writer with a helluva writer’s block. Somehow along the way, focused writing became some kind of a colossal challenge.

Spiked Soul was an album that came relatively easy. I was bored in Perth, I heard voices, I wrote what the voices said/sung. The whole process was very much like minute taking in some sort of a madhatter’s tea party kind of way. Too easy really.

Writer’s block or writer’s flood?

Post Spiked Soul, early attempts to write the second album resulted in a choir of muse produced verbal vomit, which certainly wasn’t too pretty.

Maybe I had unlocked some sort of a vein, this writing thing, I suddenly had no control over it. I was hemorrhaging muse spew and there was no end in sight. If I had to blame one more thing it was the huge amounts of graphic novels I had consumed a little after Spiked Soul. Suddenly it was too many ideas, too little tunes.

This meant that it was hopelessly difficult to finish a song without going crazy and trying to change the lyrics/ story in the tune every 30 seconds. The end result was me lying helplessly in a heap of scrap papers with no known musical tune in sight. My overzealous muses had mauled every single visiting tune to bits.

My vicious vicious monkey hyena in-bred muses.

While most of my fellow writers’ vocationally suffer from what is known as a writer’s block, I believe I was battling some tsunami version of a writer’s flood, and , frankly, not handling it well at all.

The result is inherently the same. You end up not completing anything worthy of mention. You also want to eat all other songwriters/ creative people for dinner, very literally. Somehow, in your deepest delusions you hope that by doing so you could maybe absorb some of their inspiration and cleverness back into your system. Then you have to deal with the paranoia… OMG I’ll NEVER WRITE AGAAAAAINNNNN!!!!

For awhile I tried everything, I did the whole artist way thing. I wrote pages (for those not in the know, pages are a form of writing exercise u do, involves a blank page, a pen and just writing anything you want till you fill up 2 pages..worth a try).

I did a hippie dance, I went to see beautiful sunsets and fantasized about beautiful beach people becoming whales and mud wrestling each other and winning sea slugs… I picked up hobbies, attempted knitting….(nuff said). The result of all this positive attempts resulted increasingly eye-watering levels of panic with no cure in sight.

This was until I was kindly reminded of the concept of the concept album.Of course, this is right round the point where I disappear from the internetty in a long spur of a non-naked EUREKA! moment.

Turns out that the cure for Muse-Vomit-itis is all too simple. All I have to do is to write according to a self made up rule, no exceptions, no excuses. That unless a story or an idea worked under the new rules of the newly created universe, muses had to shut up and come back when they had something valid. The new rules for play seemed to work better than the best of super nannies for the rogue muses.

Dedicated to writers/ songwriters/ creatives who suffer from some version of a muse riot/ strike. Hope you find your muse nanny soon. Keep writing. (even if your writing looks like mine…which is like rancid cat pee)

riot2

The art of skirting around an issue (aka. album)

Dear minions,

How’s all? Thanks for the warm twitter welcome. I hope everyone’s well in these crazy times and keeping ok. I have missed you, dear minions. Spidey is needing internetty minion chatter to continue maintaining some facade of sanity. At least to her outside world.

I’m alright. Still working on the album, which is proving to be bigger job than all my multiple personalities combined. It’s going slowly but not badly. Thanks to my long suffering manager, the second album has become one with many crazy good people working on it, so if it calls for me to take a little more time with it, so I shall, and I hope my minions understand my need to take time with this. I just want this album to be bloody bloody good.

We’ve decided to hold back on the singles releases until the rest of the tracks are more or less completed. So, at this point I want to take the time to thank the minions who have been checking on me with pulse checking machines. Sorry for the internetty silence, but there was some intensive songwriting to be done the last couple of months and your royal madness actually managed to get pretty focused about all of it.

So for now, I can tell you that almost all the material for the album has been written , and is sitting in the later stages of production, mix master etc There might be one or 2 more tunes/tales I might like to write but they are a bonus tunes at this stage.

New album is concept album

You are going to find that I haven’t mentioned anything about anything I’ve worked on at all. The reason is simply because the new album is a concept album, so any smidgen of research/ lyric bits I reveal is probably going to give it all away and spoil the surprise for everyone. For those who might have looked hard enough at previous photos I have posted on the blog, I might have given the game away already. Those who think they have worked it out or are in the know, keep it to yourself.

Much much more importantly…knowing me and my arse luck, telling you about the contents of the album is going to jinx it all somehow.

So I’ll update u as much as I can, in the entries soon to follow… while I carefully navigate/ distract u pass the research papers/lyrics/mess that might give the game away.

So with this…just 2 teeny tiny rules of engagement.

1) please please, don’t ask me what the album is about or ask me for hints ( things will be revealed in their own time) and;
2) don’t ask me when the album is going to be done. It’s done when it’s done and you will hear about it..promise. (because, believe me that’s all I’m obsessing over at the moment).

Back shortly, wednesday to be precise. I should be back in broadband civilization by then.

Love
your royal madness.

Yes Alice, walk pass the teeth of Luna…

Dear minions,
Gig this Friday at Sonar (Luna Park, Milsons point, Australia) with Aleeoop, videoKidz and your royal madness. If you haven’t booked yourself a ride into the mad teeth of the Luna Park. Do so now. I promise to make your childhood delusions come true. Well, most of them anyways.

www.moshtix.com.au to pre-book.

ok

Magic Pens

I made maggots last night. That’s all I did. Honest. Swear. Maybe.

See there’s this pen you can buy from the main chain stores…toy section… The real ‘real’ magic pen they call it. All you need to do is to use the pen to get a sample of the lifeform, draw, put it in the sun and voila, you have lifeforms of your choosing in any shape you desire.

I remember watching an estranged maggot crawl by on a lazy summer day. I reach with my pen and penetrate the writhing white lifeform….slowly. First it curls around the nib in a lover’s embrace and still I push. It curls some more. I am aware of the deathly silence that surrounds this moment and then CRACK. I have broken the white squirmer and all is still as my vampiric pen refills it’s juices. Strange sucking sounds, my pen suckles it seems, and the maggot disappears.

Then there I was doodling, for no reason at all, a nest of maggots. And as the sunlight hit, they squirmed across the page as they made their transition from 2D to 3D. One maggot had become many. I watch the strange dance of white maggoty joy and then “Slam”. I was bored and I didn’t want the worms on my bed. Pity about the notebook though, it’s probably ruined or very squishy. It’s a nice day anyways so I figured I’d head out.

I step out into streets into a world I don’t recognise. My neighbour is killing her husband and tells me she going to draw a better one. Says she likes him younger and with more hair. When she’s done he’ll do her. It’s all very scientific. Meanwhile, She’s happily stabbing him in the eye with a pair of gardening shears. Tells me that this is all rather therapeutic. 40 years of marriage, this has by far been the most satisfying moment. I wonder when she’s going to get to the drawing part.

There is a long line forming where my best friend lives. She’s an artist so she draws pretty people, and today, she’s asked to be a mass murderer. She’s as efficient as ever was though. She’s got assistants who look like real life manga beauties and they are taking numbers. In the waiting room she’s got dead bodies strewn all over the clinic with the magic pens sticking out of their jagular. A roomful of suckling sounds.

Almost like a nursery.

One by one the pens bubbling with warped DNA bits are delivered to her studio/clinic, where, in a few minutes, the assistants carry her lifelike artwork out of her studio to the sun to dry.

One by one, youthful sailormoon like figures crawl out of the paper. A few hello kitties come out of the room with shy hellos too. This was way way weirder than cosplay. A couple of Angelina Jolie look-alikes stroll by too.

“Are their souls intact or have they been redrawn as well, they still the same person after this?” I ask

“Perhaps, maybe, whatever, think it works like plastic surgery probably, can you hand me that spray paint?” my friend was evidently an artist busy at work.

I spy a couple of cops at the clinic and they have signed on to be drawn as teenagers. Something about going back to school and making sure they never end up in law enforcement again.

Meanwhile in the parks, trees have taken on phallic shapes as young vandals inject their magic pens into trees and re-draw tree DNA into shapes they deem funny. On the other end, bunch of greenies are busy poking/ killing each other with the pen and turning each other into trees in an attempt to decrease carbon emissions. There are a couple of young tree saplings, so I presumed they started with their children.

The tree beside me starts a song and a speech about the joys of photosynthesis, peace and the hippie movement amidst much joyful babble. He sounds like a senator I know. I had to laugh. All around me are human trees still wearing their hemp made shirts.

The trains comes and I stumble into the city where the bling bling boys are chasing girls around with new and improved appendages, some tentacle-like. Some of the girls have turned to a triple breasted look….some have gone for more that that. 2 real life Sheela-na-gigs stroll past me, closely followed by Mona Lisa herself…and my brain broke.

I scream, the dream guards pull me out, drag me through and I land cold, sweaty and in the dark, tangled in sheets.

I am Yunyu’s screaming neurosis.

of Mushrooms and tadpoles

Last night. I dreamt of mushrooms and a vagabond. You know? The type where an old man comes up to you brown teeth and all and says “Child, do you never want to dream again? Dip your hand into this bag, and you will know peace. Or then,” he paused, taking out another bag. Pink and stained from all the memories of the world and he says “this one though, will make you dream colour, but you will also know misery. You see dreams are a curse, they make you so hungry. I’m hungry…you have cinnamon? They are nice things…Hurry hurry, pick one child, because you are running out of time.”

I had to ask then. “Are dreams bad? Can I not pick? I will dream when I feel like it thank you very much, and no I don’t like your mushrooms either ways. They look like goldfish eyes” Then the vagabond sniffles, glows and vanishes. I pull a face. He leaves both bags behind. One a dream giver, the other the dream void. I try and pick up the bags, knowing them to be powers of the world but as soon as I touch them I start to dissolve into sand that divides into rivers that flow like spores/ sand into the bags of mushrooms.

70% into the dream-giving bag. 30% the dream void. I remember noting this as I fall into sand. 2 sand rivers sorting and dividing into the bags. Funny how statistics are such vivid and round numbers in dreams. I’m down to my chest now, slowly atomising into sand. There’s a tray of cheese crackers, what looks like good cheese and some wine and I help myself. Atomising is such a slow process. I am almost bored out of my mind about my inevitability.

And I laugh. Suddenly it’s too funny when you are all half sandy and half humanoid. My laughter spills the half drunk wine spills and my sandy bits are soaked. Hmm…tadpoles, wine and sand make tadpoles. Now I am a third tadpole colony a third sand and a third human. It’s a giddy ride, when you are a million tadpoles at a time. It’s almost like having compound eyes except…maybe worse.

Now I’m puking my guts out from the disorientation. hmm…pizza from the night before. NASA should have trained me for this I remember thinking. O wait, it doesn’t make sense, I have no stomach so WTF? Where is this river of reverse gastro food source?! I wave my hands through the sea of puke, sand and tadpoles tracing the source of my digested food. Hah..rope like things, this must be my guts, so I pull…

The mushroom bags come alive like tents when I pull, like puppets. Humanoid puppets, bursting with mushrooms. It’s getting crazy, the mushroom bags from Mr Vagabond now look like frankenstein monsters gasping and the like. They are pulling back my guts too, with arms that look like tentacles and sand bags. I’m insulted and it becomes a matter of pride. So I suppose I should be fighting for my intestines so I pull, they pull, it’s all a great show of strength. All this time, I’m a million tadpoles swimming in a murky morbid sea of puke and sand. I’ve never been busier.

It’s all very distracting, by now I’ve figured that closing my eyes makes the puking go away. Which is a relief, but the mushroom monsters still have my guts.

This is a problem.

Then of course, it occurs to me that my hands are dissolving now and I’m going to be losing the tug of war so I put my intestines into my mouth. At this point I discover that my intestines taste like the best snake candy in the world, and forgetting my fight I start chewing.

I realise to my horror I can’t stop chomping through the rest of myself from the inside out. The mushroom humans realise this too and they start looking really scared and really small. I don’t stop, I can’t stop…chew chew chew this is all I know. I slurp the tadpoles and the sand and all the mushrooms and the bags and the sea of gross out. I am my mouth.

All this time my eyes are closed and I don’t want to open them anymore and I feel my eyeballs slipping out from behind my sockets as my mouth burrows into my face like a giant mutant termite and empties out my sockets and then I think I hear my skull cave in. At this point I know the universe has stopped. At this moment I’m all knowing, all hearing and I know I’m the only one left in the verse. Then I cry and retch huge pieces of flesh and I am me again.

Somewhat. For some reason I’m now wearing a McDonald’s uniform behind a sign that says tadpoles for sale. $4.99 ask for the special upgrade. A girl comes up to the counter and asks for a tadpole special, someone unrolls my sticky frog tongue and gives it a good wipe on the food tray, from my drying spit is a sea of tadpoles with the face of the vagabond….

Freudians can shut up now.

Naked bodies and head transplants go on a ferry ridee.

I woke today to my neighbours chasing each other around their house naked, it took me a good 10 minutes to make my coffee, return to the ongoing scene, spill caffeine on myself to realise, hey I’m not bloody dreaming… So now that I’ve finished acid washing my eyes, I can now proceed to, for no reason at all read up about head transplants.

Maybe it’s the moon but I’m itching to swap some heads today….starting with the naked neighbours. Pity about the spinal cord not being able to reconnect thing…or the possibilities could have been endless. Aside from the medical implications of things, I imagine reading adverts from enterprising fitness freaks might put up…”Give us your bodies and we’ll train it for you!…Taking personal training to a whole new level.” Or in some cases, the disciplining parent, “You two better get along or you will wake up sharing a body.”

Of course youtube never fails us with the visual material. Here’s one of a monkey’s head transplant.

On another tangent. Gig coming up April 18th.

Those in Sydney you are coming yeah? I need some human heads

Sleepwriting moth.

Given the popular orient belief that moths are embodiments of the newly deceased. I catch myself getting absurdly happy when I see one perched in a ceiling corner or on my kitchen table. Maybe I really want a visit from a soul I love but my mind knows it needs to move on, and snap the fuck out of it. Pronto.

In the realms of dreaming and needing to finish the last of the demos for the album, I awake to find this poem on my laptop with not recollection of having written it at all. So unless there’s a ninja poet living in my quarters that I don’t know about I’m guessing I’m sleep writing again. Something I’ve not done in awhile. Not sure the poem is yet but it’s reminding me of some mutant moth made of haiku. I’m thinking I’ll file it here for future reference. It’s not quite curling into a song at the moment.

Hiss
I am crackling mist

Shapes
I inspire

kiss
At the nape
of rusty necks

then
I flake.

Burn
I see love in the light
of dancing shapes

Fire
the smell of my wings sing
and singe

Sting
I am scorpion
born without the kill

7 years
times up
skin itches

soul
in transit

grab
I am moth

fly

More gigs, a playlist and pictures

More gigs afoot come April 18th at the Luna Park. This time I play support for Aleeoop and also VideoKidz. More details pending

Pictures of the gig on 22nd Feb uploaded to go. Courtesy of Aili Li, who was the cute girl in the Yukata get up kind enough to man the merch stand for spidey.

mage

At the insistence of Mr hacked2death, I’ve decided to put up background music playlist for that night as well. Youtube links provided wherever possible see how nice I am?

Canta Per Me – Yuki Kajiura
Laisse Tomber Les Filles – April March
Flowers – Emilie Simon
新貴妃醉酒 – Li Yu Gang
Machismo – Gomez
Tank! – Yoko Kanno & The Seatbelts
What Else is there – Royskopp
Sayaisha Ingoma – הפרויקט של עידן רייכל
Mushroom Hunting – Yoko Kanno
Sinnerman – Nina Simone
Fleur de Saison – Emilie Simon
Valse De La Lune – Yoko Kanno
Kioku – Yuki Kajiura
Theme from Lime Cafe – April March
Ghost in the Shell – Yoko Kanno
The Skeleton key soundtrack – Conjure
Baah Elichem – Miri Masica

Enjoy the music all, and yes details for the next gig and some goat speak coming up in a jiffy

Poltergeist and Aliens!

Poltergeist and Aliens!

** posted a week late due to to reasons in previous post :(**

Gig on Friday was great fun. We had pirates, nurses, bleach characters, inuyasha and the lot grace their presence at the gig. (Kudos to those whose ammunition got checked and triple checked by the rather bemused bouncer at the Sandringham Hotel. ” Sorry Mate!!” ) Long live fake weaponry and bouncer confusion.

Perhaps it was the invocation of the spirits and general strangeness of the day, the very talented bandmate Sofie Loizou experienced a laptop seizure, my keyboard died once and then proceeded to give me the F-word quite literally on stage….this was followed by a realisation that it would only play sounds of gunshots instead of my usual piano settings. The Hyaku Monogatari presented quite the portal for strangeness to occur on stage and we should perhaps not do this too often because I’ve read somewhere that spirits do fuck with electricals.

I’m still awaiting photos taken by the lot of you and so far I’ve found this rather disturbing one on the goat’s camera.. I swear that the real me has black irises and am very very much human so…WTF ? I wasn’t even singing anything scary…well ok, not at that moment anyways.

no iris

For the lot of you not quite familiar with the realms of Anime and Karaoke, I hope u enjoyed the stream of songs not quite found on the radio u know — all courtesy of Smash! Karaoke. And yes, yes, it is Karaoke, off key singing and general laughing on stage and off stage is allowed and encouraged. So the next time I hold something l like that, I’d expect the lot of you to stumble your way to stage. Shyness is the only crime. 😀

I’m sorry to say that I missed most of Toydeath, amidst a full day of setting up the stage and then going off to grab a bite/ shower and getting into stage gear. I’ve seen the footage of their gig kindly taken by friends and I’m making it a point to stalk their next gig. Insane costumes, crazy crying toys and above all, what seemed like olympic levels of insanity on stage. What’s not to like?

Anyways, thanks to those who rocked up again. Hope u enjoyed yourself and pictures goddammit! I demand pictures! Yes, and that includes pics of you in your cosplay costumes on the night.

I pass u on to the goat who will now host his very own lost and found section in a post soon after this.

ok I’m one week late for this but photos, photos now.

My need to remember.

Dear Ah Ma (grandma)

This isn’t so much as a eulogy as my need to remember you.

I remember my childhood at the old house, where you had a rabid goose with an arse fetish that chased us around the compound, and chickens and rabbits and a huge swing and how you took care of all of us cousins as our parents went to work. It must have been tough, all of us being babies/toddlers, but you managed. Somehow nothing was impossible for you. You were formidable to me then, you still are.

We never felt left out with you, you loved and care for everyone of us. I remember waking up to the smells of your cooking and how you made sure that the family always gathered and remained close. I still smell your cooking coming from mom’s kitchen and in a huge way I remain comforted.

I remember your stories. Especially the ghost stories. I know you didn’t like us to hear them, but you told them anyways, always after heaps of insistence from us kids, but when you did tell them, they were delivered well, like everything else you did for us. It struck me that it didn’t matter where you told them, they were always eerie, always entertaining, even when told in a bustling shopping centre when we were waiting for mom to finish her shopping. I remember my brothers and I fearing the toilet and all general dark places for months after one of your tales.

You know, Ah Ma? I still tell your stories at gigs these days, and it brings a smile to me to see that your stories still scare even the bravest of my audiences. I think you would be proud.

It is at this moment that I can almost see that wry smile you wear when you don’t quite know what to do with us.

I remember your attempts to do my chinese homework for me. Most times you would sit beside us, an old dictionary in hand and a string of colourful curses bestowed on my well meaning Chinese teacher for setting impossible questions for us. You were always so patient, no matter how mischievous we got.

I remember the sleepovers. They were always fun, sometimes we would go for short car rides or just sit together watching telly while I asked you all too many questions about the times before and fairy tales, I did love your fairy tales. It didn’t matter how many times you told the story because you were a gifted storyteller. You were a great listener too, and always you had a consoling word for my less than enjoyable times in school. Somehow you always made my days a little better, you were great like that.

I remember sitting at the back of the car with you sharing an ice-cream or a packet of chips. You’d sneak a bite here and there like the rest of us and buy us more when mom wasn’t looking. To us, you were always the cool friend that we were all too lucky to have. Remember how we all ended up playing the ouija board together despite your misgivings, and the scary tales of the ouija you told to top it all off?

I remember the games we played and it seemed only yesterday, we stood in awe when you slammed us at a game of badminton when we were arrogant teenagers. (Full disclosure: you didn’t tell me you were a national sportswoman in Malaysia, basketball wasn’t it?)

I’m sorry I wasn’t around more when you got ill. Denial, general artistic poverty and lack of time took me away, and yes I always thought you would get well again. You always bounced back from the worst of things and I was sure you would this time, now I wish I got to see you more before you left even when you stopped telling the stories, even if to just hold your hand.

Your funeral brought all of us back together again, for awhile it was old times where my cousins and I were doing things together again. It’s never going to be the same though, and everyone is missing you in their own way, because bits of your stories continue to be told amidst the silent tears. In a way I guess, the storyteller in you lives, even if through us.

Last friday, I thought I heard you say goodbye while I was on stage, when I was telling a story that was one of yours. I’d like to think it was really you, leaving me with one more story to tell.

I’m proud to have known you Ah Ma. The honour was all mine. Go in peace now. I love you.

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